Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize