everyone is single if you try hard enough
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
