Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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