He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
