what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
