i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
