No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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