I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm passing your future prison.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
