My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
