When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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