when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize