I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
