You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
