I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
