His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
