Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
