They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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