It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
