Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize