? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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