As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
