Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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