Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize