you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
