My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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