Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
