my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
