Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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