last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
