oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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