I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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