next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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