does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize