can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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