i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
