Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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