she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
