my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
