i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
