was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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