I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
