Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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