You're so nebulous sometimes
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think my moral compass just broke
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