I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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