I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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