try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
