so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize