I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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