Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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