I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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