3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
