I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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