her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
