are you so shy because you have an std?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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