aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
