You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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