how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
